How To Gain Confidence And Start Believing In Yourself

1. Do one thing EVERY SINGLE DAY to instill that spark of discipline.

It could be making your bed, writing three things you are grateful for, or doing 30 push ups. The key is not to skip ANY DAYS. So make sure you start small and work your way up to avoid burn out.

Establishing healthy routines is one way to show up for ourselves.
Routine builds trust. Trust in ourselves is key to building self-confidence.

2. If you skip a day, do not be hard on yourself. Shame can be an addictive emotion. It makes us feel bad and prevent us from making changes.

Have you ever had that friend or loved one who’s always apologizing for their mistakes but never making any adjustments to their actions? That’s that shame addiction in play.

They authentically feel bad for messing up but they’re stuck in the habit loop of messing up, beating themselves up, and feeling too unworthy and useless to create lasting change.

Shame takes up so much of our mental and emotional energies that we PHYSICALLY feel tired and heavy from experiencing it.

Accept that it was done and make sure you utilize tools which will remind you to be accountable. This could be an alarm, a sticky note, or anchoring.

3. What’s anchoring?

Anchoring is the act of using something unrelated to the thing you want to accomplish as a tool to remind you.

For example, I want to do 30 push ups everyday.

I brush my teeth EVERY MORNING.

I will anchor the 30 push ups to the act of brushing my teeth by IMMEDIATELY doing 30 push ups after brushing my teeth.

Leaving a note on the mirror will remind me to do so.

4. Say goodbye to self-deprecation.

Yeah, it’s hilarious and we get a bunch of likes when we talk about how much we suck. The added benefit is the camaraderie of others who feel the same way.

But it’s shaping our realities. Our thoughts are prayers. Our words are spells.

Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning, experience, or following injury. This could be positive or negative.

If we constantly talk down or make demeaning jokes about ourselves, we are forming synaptic connections around self-deprecation.

If we constantly build ourselves up and coach ourselves through challenges, we are forming synaptic connections around self-confidence.

Let’s form new synaptic connections in our brains enabling us to improve our thoughts, actions, and emotions. It’s possible.

Take inventory of your inner voice. What do they sound like? If that voice was a friend, would you consider this friend supportive or abusive?

5. Accept that most of the things which are good for us aren’t always going to make our hearts sing, bring us great joy, or are even remotely fun.

Planning for the week sucks. Saving money is blah. Meditation is boring. Cooking at home takes up so much of my Netflix and art time.

Fuck it.

Growth happens in our discomfort zones.

When we begin to benefit from the work, our minds shift. It becomes sort of a game of how much yucky “unfun” stuff we can do so we can reap the biggest rewards.

How does planning benefit us?
We procrastinate less so we feel less anxious. Less anxiety mean more peace of mind, energy, and time to actually do the cool shit we’ve been wanting to do.

How does saving money benefit us?
We can finally go on that trip we’ve been dreaming about, buy that new laptop for our projects, pay off a student loan.

Etc.

How does the opposite of those things currently benefit us right now?

If it has no benefits, then it means we’re just expending energy, money, and time on habits we don’t even really care for. Habits can be changed.

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Thank you for being here with me. I love you and hope your 2019 is full of expansion, abundance, and self-mastery.

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