The Art of Chill

So I got frustrated last night typing up a long project and basically clipped my fake nails off that I’ve had on since the day before my wedding. I’ll be back here with some long posts.
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First, I want to talk about the importance of being chill. I feel like there is magic in chilling the fuck out. Try it.
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Let go of the things you can’t control and watch it work out how it should and not how you want it.
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I know if you’ve never tried to chill out, it might feel challenging…violent almost…but at the end of that discomfort is a gold mine of deep breaths, relaxed shoulders, and the appreciation for incarnating on this planet, in this lifetime, and in that beautiful body of yours.
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While I was planning my wedding and up until I was about to walk down the aisle, people kept commenting on how I seem way too relaxed for someone who was about to get married. How am I not freaking out that I still don’t have the food reserved? Or I don’t have my songs planned out? Or the seating chart isn’t printed yet? How am I making jokes right now?
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I think it boils down to trust. I put a lot of trust in people. Not just anyone – I have carefully curated people in my life that I love and trust. These folks live with integrity, are dependable, and loyal to their loved ones.

And when I can’t do something, I ask for their help. It took me a couple of decades to learn to ask for help so I understand the challenge.

For my wedding, I trusted the experts in their field. I remember being asked what song I wanted to walk down the aisle to. I HAD NO IDEA. So I asked the DJ to surprise me.
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I walked down the aisle to Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwoʻole’s version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow. It’s the ukelele version. It was beautiful. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.

I notice when I authentically put my trust in others, I feel this sense of duty from them. Like people are so happy that I fully believe in the successful execution of their craft that they do all they can to make it so. It could just be my imagination.
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AND…we also messed up: the officiant was late, the DJ read the names out of order, there were some hiccups during the ceremony that resulted in people snickering here and there.
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And you know what? It worked out. The wedding is over, the food was good, the music was popping, people enjoyed themselves.
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I even believe these minuscule issues MADE the wedding more memorable for me.
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It’s amazing there’s an actual show about bridezillas. I’ve never watched it but did they even enjoy their very important and special milestone because they HAD to have everything the way they wanted it?

I woke up like this

Also regarding trust. I know for people who aren’t spiritually inclined, they might roll their eyes…but I have a lot of trust in the Universe or God or energy…fill in the blanks. I do the work required of me and then I put it out there and let it go.
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There is no use in breathing down the neck of this intention watching it unfold. I’ve done all I can, now all I have to do is wait for it to come to fruition. If it doesn’t, it’s back to the drawing board to try something new.
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Attachment and control brings suffering. When you’re too attached to an outcome, it hurts more if it doesn’t work out. When we rise and fall with our wins and losses, it becomes energetically exhausting.
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When you need things done exactly the way you want it but this universe is chaotic, unpredictable, and sovereign…you are in for a lifetime of disappointment.
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So since we all have to live in this dimension, might as well enjoy the chaos, right?
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Don’t be afraid to work on it. Distracting yourself trying to fix others when you haven’t put much effort on yourself is not beneficial. Don’t put your healing on the back burner.
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When we put our healing first – all the stuff we want to control and all the things that make us incredibly uncomfortable become less of a nuisance and more of a thing that just happens because the world just happens. Like a flower blooming or lightning crashing. It just is.
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Don’t be afraid to use tools to help you learn the art of chilling. Download meditation apps, use task managers, take CBD oil, follow social media accounts of folks who champion these ideas.
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If stress actually makes us sick, imagine what being chill can do?
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Stoicism.

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